What Do I Call These Things?

Invent a name for these things!

Cheetah Legs?

Jumping Crutches?


Terrain Bounders?


Clearly – I’m not the best at naming devices. It’s been two years since I first started speaking to people about The Rolling Exhibition and how I get around, and I still can’t figure out the name for my own shoe…

A Butt-boot?

Ass Moccassin?


None of them have the ring that I’m looking for, and they don’t even really describe what the shoe might appear like to the casual passer-by. Furthermore, is it just a shoe, or do I need to specify the type of shoe that it would be before I specify where it goes? If so, I messes with the whole nomenclature and I have to start all over.

Butt Clog?

Ass Slipper?

Those names don’t even make it sound like a shoe. Sounds like something you’d have to buy double-wrapped in a paper bag.

With so many problems confronting the naming something I’ve used for decades, you can imagine my concern about being charged with naming this new device. I want these things to look cool  enough that your everyday biped wants to lose some legs just to play with them – and I can’t have a crummy name bringing down the sex appeal of these bad boys.

So – my charge to you – any name suggestions? I’m willing to hear anything, so send an email or comment my way if anything comes to mind.

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  • http://www.bradleyrobb.net/ P. Bradley Robb

    I'd stay away from “Butt Clog” not just as a name, but in general.

  • http://twitter.com/exposur3 Chrys Rynearson

    the top one reminds me more of a gorilla, what with how they walk with their arms – GorillaFly, GoGorilla…

    that bottom shot definitely looks like an old pair of Birkenstocks that I had – BirkenBum er something.

  • http://wav-e-training.com/ Catherine Llwyd

    1. Universal Rebounders? (the capacity to spring forward or bounce back)
    2. How about – ” The Shoe Drawer” after Dresser Drawers? We have dresser drawers for shirts, pants, socks and a shoe drawer???

  • ahoy96

    Keminolly Legs…
    Keminolly shoe…
    It's all parts of your name!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Doris-Dinsmore/1204884530 Doris Dinsmore

    Comfort Cruiser.

  • ashleyhowell

    Butt Clog. That one made me laugh. Hard. Ahhh….
    FYI – I think I've told you this before, but I like “ass shoe” because it sounds like you're sneezing when you say it.
    As far as the crutches… I think “Universal Rebounders” is kinda cool for a brand name. Maybe something simple (and rather obvious) like “All-Terrain Crutches” for a product name??

  • Genevieve

    personally, i like butt moccasin. thats what ive always called it. Birkenbum has a nice ring to it, though. dunno about the crutches. i kinda like 'jumping crutches' or 'cheetah legs.'

  • Ceilon Aspensen

    I vote for “Terrain Bounders” and….well, still thinking about the other one….”butt boot” comes the closest to being the “winner” for me, but still doesn't have the right sound. 😉

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1609100570 Jonathan Aspensen

    Ass Moccasin is my favorite!

  • sherrie_g4


  • sherrie_g4


  • Manuel

    for your shoes? …. Zapaton? From Spanish Zapato Grande 😉

  • http://twitter.com/CaperWheelLady CaperWheelLady

    Some names I thought of: Connol-Legs, Rough Steppers, Rough Gliders, Kangaroo Legs, Mobility Legs, Mobility Walkers….. Butt Planter, The Keister, The Tushy, Tush Cushion, The Cheek Seat, The Butt Condo. 🙂

  • larry

    “Butt Boot” seems just about perfect: descriptive, alliteratively monosyllabic, with just a pinch of self-deprecating humor to drive away any orthopedic associations.

    For the new rig: Strideriders or, with a nod to Truman Capote, Golightlies.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=37105547 Melissa Schapero

    Tire Ironman

    A play on words that describes the user!

  • markocba

    Hey Kevin, I'd definitely call it The Zapatón, El Zapatón… I saw this on the other list you posted and it makes a lot of sense, at least in Spanish. It does look like a big shoe and it also functions as such.
    It's YOUR Zapatón and it takes you wherever you want to go. And it's only one, that's something i would consider if i were you. shoes usually come in pairs and that makes it more interesting and unique.