What Do I Call These Things?

Invent a name for these things!

Cheetah Legs?

Jumping Crutches?

Bounders?

Terrain Bounders?

Bouncers?

Clearly – I’m not the best at naming devices. It’s been two years since I first started speaking to people about The Rolling Exhibition and how I get around, and I still can’t figure out the name for my own shoe…

A Butt-boot?

Ass Moccassin?

Torso-shoe

None of them have the ring that I’m looking for, and they don’t even really describe what the shoe might appear like to the casual passer-by. Furthermore, is it just a shoe, or do I need to specify the type of shoe that it would be before I specify where it goes? If so, I messes with the whole nomenclature and I have to start all over.

Butt Clog?

Ass Slipper?

Those names don’t even make it sound like a shoe. Sounds like something you’d have to buy double-wrapped in a paper bag.

With so many problems confronting the naming something I’ve used for decades, you can imagine my concern about being charged with naming this new device. I want these things to look cool  enough that your everyday biped wants to lose some legs just to play with them – and I can’t have a crummy name bringing down the sex appeal of these bad boys.

So – my charge to you – any name suggestions? I’m willing to hear anything, so send an email or comment my way if anything comes to mind.


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  • markocba
    Hey Kevin, I'd definitely call it The Zapatón, El Zapatón... I saw this on the other list you posted and it makes a lot of sense, at least in Spanish. It does look like a big shoe and it also functions as such.
    It's YOUR Zapatón and it takes you wherever you want to go. And it's only one, that's something i would consider if i were you. shoes usually come in pairs and that makes it more interesting and unique.
    Marco.
  • Tire Ironman

    A play on words that describes the user!
  • larry
    "Butt Boot" seems just about perfect: descriptive, alliteratively monosyllabic, with just a pinch of self-deprecating humor to drive away any orthopedic associations.

    For the new rig: Strideriders or, with a nod to Truman Capote, Golightlies.
  • Some names I thought of: Connol-Legs, Rough Steppers, Rough Gliders, Kangaroo Legs, Mobility Legs, Mobility Walkers..... Butt Planter, The Keister, The Tushy, Tush Cushion, The Cheek Seat, The Butt Condo. :)
  • Manuel
    Dummy-Jumper?
    for your shoes? .... Zapaton? From Spanish Zapato Grande ;-)
  • sherrie_g4
    AssCap?
  • sherrie_g4
    BodPod
  • Ass Moccasin is my favorite!
  • Ceilon Aspensen
    I vote for "Terrain Bounders" and....well, still thinking about the other one...."butt boot" comes the closest to being the "winner" for me, but still doesn't have the right sound. ;-)
  • Genevieve
    personally, i like butt moccasin. thats what ive always called it. Birkenbum has a nice ring to it, though. dunno about the crutches. i kinda like 'jumping crutches' or 'cheetah legs.'
  • ashleyhowell
    Butt Clog. That one made me laugh. Hard. Ahhh....
    FYI - I think I've told you this before, but I like "ass shoe" because it sounds like you're sneezing when you say it.
    As far as the crutches... I think "Universal Rebounders" is kinda cool for a brand name. Maybe something simple (and rather obvious) like "All-Terrain Crutches" for a product name??
  • Comfort Cruiser.
  • ahoy96
    Keminolly Legs...
    Keminolly shoe...
    "kay-min-olly"
    It's all parts of your name!
  • 1. Universal Rebounders? (the capacity to spring forward or bounce back)
    2. How about - " The Shoe Drawer" after Dresser Drawers? We have dresser drawers for shirts, pants, socks and a shoe drawer???
  • the top one reminds me more of a gorilla, what with how they walk with their arms - GorillaFly, GoGorilla...

    that bottom shot definitely looks like an old pair of Birkenstocks that I had - BirkenBum er something.
  • I'd stay away from "Butt Clog" not just as a name, but in general.
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